10 Things Every Man Should Know About Irish Women *

Most Irish women are a feisty mix of mammy and sass – they’re known the world over for their sharp wit and fierce slaggings. Despite being able to talk the rear legs off a donkey, they are still perceived with wonder and mystery by their male counterparts. You’d think the lads would have copped on to the inner-workings of the Irish matriarch at this stage. Those confusing rants that end with ‘I’m fine…’ ? That means they’re not fine and you lads won’t be either if you leave the conversation there. Here are 10 Things Every Man Should Know About Irish Women

1. Danger: Feisty Feline

They’re sharp-tongued pussy cats – they like to play with their prey. Chat-up lines are an open invitation for some dry witted come-backs that are certain to leave you lads winded. Banter is the name of the game –  hang your sensitivity at the door because Irish women can give as good a slagging as any fella.

Alice Hodgson. Irish Women. 10 Things.

2. Compliments Cave

Unlike other women around the world, Irish women cannot take a compliment. They don’t ‘get’ them. In fact, if you compliment their natural beauty you are more likely to arouse suspicion than feelings of desire – ‘what’s wrong with him? I’m obviously not beautiful when I’m eating Taytos in my PJs!’ On the other hand, they will notice if you don’t tell them how gorgeous they look after spending hours spray tanning and hair curling for a night out – but they’ll still tell you you’re wrong.

3. Penneys!

For some reason ‘Penneys’ has not made it into the dictionary yet, unlike Google and Twitter. It is bandied about like a badge of honour and it translates to ‘bargain’ – which to Irish women means they have honoured the sisterhood with their skilful ability to look fabulous for peanuts. Lads, if this is the response to a compliment, just smile and look impressed. Never presume her clothes are from Penneys, this on the other hand, is not a compliment.

4. Gaelic Dating

Things to remember when dating an Irish woman: she loves the craic, she loves to chat and most importantly, she loves a listener. The cinema is a no-no for a first date, they prefer getting to know you over pints, but this is not an invitation to a drinking competition –  if it were, they would probably win. Remember: Irish women have acute BS detectors, so it’s best to keep it real.

5. So Cold…

It is always cold – don’t question it, don’t argue with it, just accept it. It’s a sore point – in the office, at home and when on dates – that seems to amuse men. When you’re roasting, they’re freezing, so why not score some brownie points? Don’t open that window, do lend them your jackets and never think it’s okay to turn the heating off if they’ve just turned it on…

6. Mammywolf

Irish women  are generally feisty and often hard-nosed, but they’re always mammies underneath. They have big hearts and love to fuss – ‘I’ll make us some tea, sure!’ indicates the completed transformation. Of course, they’re not your mammies, but they do want to impress the other woman in your life – so don’t bother bitching about them after a fight. You will feel the full force of the matriarch further down the line…

Alice Hodgson. Irish Women. 10 things

7. You Booze, You Lose

An Irish woman’s idea of ‘craic’ doesn’t always match-up with Irish men’s –  that’s fine. Just don’t forgo ‘communication’ for arse-slapping in nightclubs, never turn up drunk for a date and don’t bother telling them about your drunken exploits. ‘My mate was mangled last night and puked all over some bird’, doesn’t impress them. Once again, don’t compete with Irish women because they will drink you under the table – and if they don’t, you’re holding back their hair.

8. Hairstyles Help

Okay. ‘Short hair’ coated in gunky gel is not a hairstyle. The terrifying reign of the short-back-and-sides makes men look like little school boys, still wet behind the ears. While your mammies might approve, the rest of female society is indifferent. Irish women prefer longer hair and beards can be quite sexy, too. While you’re at it, why not ditch those jeans you’ve been wearing since college and get some decent shoes – Irish women will always be impressed with a pair of converse, at least.

9. Spot the Difference

During the weekends Irish girls sport a luminous orange glow – if it starts to rain they will squawk and run for cover to save their ‘tans’ from ‘streakage’. You may not recognise them without the false eyelashes and blackened eyebrows, but don’t be concerned for their health when they chill fresh-faced in snug tracksuits – Irish women love to be comfortable too.

10. Confidence Turn-On

Irish women love a confident man – who isn’t swaying, slurring or trying to impress them with his collection of traffic cones. Hunting in packs is a turn-off for Irish women. Writing ‘Gay’ on a photo of your mate and his girlfriend on Facebook is juvenile. Stand tall, be proud and they’ll love you as you are.

*Written for and in the style of Her.ie

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39 thoughts on “10 Things Every Man Should Know About Irish Women *

    1. You might have had a bad experience, but hey, don’t try say they lack education. I didn’t spend three years getting my degree to be told I apparently “lack education”.

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    2. Hey, I believe you have been burned. WE do not lack education, WE are not ignorant, WE are all different. Maybe try an open mind….it can work wonders. Hope you find love somewhere….and forgiveness.
      Aine

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    3. C– İn saying irish women are ‘ignorant’ and ‘lack education’. You in fact proved you have zero idea of the definition of ignorant. Let me explain, ‘ignorant’ means to have a lack of knowledge, as such to say we are both ignorant and lack education shows you are simply repeating yourself. Just thought you should know. I also can’t help but note you used ‘C’ as your name to write your incredibly stereotypical view of Irish women. Was that just coincidence or are you simply obsessed with that part of the female body? Yours Sincerely- Educated and strong Irish woman 🙂

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    4. Well he does have a point often out for a friendly drink Irish women will snarl with hatred at others.

      Fiesty is a word you’d associate with Spanish women not Irish. Spanish women may get hot about a situation but I never see them nasty or expressing hatred.
      And Irish women are so sly, mostly they take advantage of being women and lash out visciously at men knowing men can’t be angry back. Or they’ll make sly insults to try and make others look bad in a moral sense.

      I know this maybe 20-30% but it doesn’t happen in other cultures. You will notice women have huge privileges in society in that we’re more concerned for women’s welfare. No one would care if a man got beaten up but if a woman was attacked the police would hunt down the attacker. This isn’t so bad in other cultures where the women are reasonably civil to men but its ridiculous in Ireland where the women are so angry and vicious. They’re the complete opposite to Irish men who’re generally laid back, friendly and never sly.

      I’ve worked in London with Irish women in the professional environment and all the English guys are furious with them but don’t know what to say its difficult for them to assert themselves against women like that.
      It varies a lot by county I believe the Southern counties arethe worst Cork and Limerick.

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      1. I’m an Irish girl and I agree with Ian to an extent. I think irish women can have sharper tongues and be quite mean to the men. However, I’m not a huge fan of the men either (to date. I like them as friends) as I think they are repressed. I actually take issue with what was written in the post – you make all irish women sound like ‘Tayto-eating mammies who never know when to keep quiet’. It’s embarassing and untrue.

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  1. haha ‘C’ you obviously didn’t read this first! And have no sense of proper humour, and you are most likely an educated fool loaded with nothing but useless information! Plus we are educated where it counts! 😉

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    1. I am Welsh single and want to meet a nice Irish girl. The accent is remarkable and all the Irish girls I have ever met are beautiful. I wish I could find a beautiful Irish girl…so many narrow minded people slagging off the Irish women (complete asses)

      Liked by 1 person

  2. SOMEONE UP THERE IS VERY BRAVE OR STUPID ,SEE HE OR SHE DID NOT PUT A NAME TO THE REMARK LACK OF EDUCATION SILLY PERSON THE GIRLS WILL COME AND GET YA. AS AS A VERY OUT SPOKEN ENGLISH MAN LOVE THE IRISH GOOD COOKS GOOD IN THE HOUSE AND CAN DRINK WITH YA AS OLD POP LARKIN FROM DARLING BUDS OF MAY WOULD SAY PERFECKT.

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  5. I’m late to this thread, but the above are all true based on my brief experiences with Irish women. Beautiful, intelligent, witty and caring women…who happen to be able to outdrink me and best me at darts. I must bring one home to the states with me on my next visit to the country. Never found a woman anywhere on Earth like an Irish woman.

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  7. Is it normal to talk to an irish woman the whole night at a pub, get her number, send a couple text messages the next day (like – had a lot of fun last night), and hear no response??

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This comment section proves that Irish women think they’re all that and a bag of chips. The ones who think they’re the bees knees are only half a ham sandwich at best. While the odd one out of fifty that takes their head out of their hole and shows a bit of modesty is a TRUE keeper.

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  9. Hey Alice! I really enjoyed reading that!
    I’m still grinning because I can see all those things
    And I know you’re right!!
    I went out with a half Greek half Irish girl and she ticked most of
    Your “know your Irish Woman) box! Hahaha!
    Confession time now! Alice.. I am so in love with Aisling bea (comedian/ Actress)
    I have never ever seen a more beautiful woman. I wrote a poem for her and she loved it! (on Facebook) She said that its the first time ever anybody has written
    A poem about her then she said: Panni you are a Joy! I thank flux
    Ok Alice what does you are a joy mean in Iridh lool!
    Regards Panni.x

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Irish girls are truely a marvel of the eye of the beholder, their beauty is shown through out history and comes to the table of exotic beauty but I guess I’m just mad.

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